An Honest to God Question

When man fell, he lost the authority God had given him. Remember how he had authority over all of God’s creation, including the lions and the tigers and the other bad-ass animals? He was God’s 4D “image” on earth and the beasts were his subjects. But he ate the goddamn fruit, and lost all that fabulous power. He relinquished that power by eating a fruit! (Some say this “fruit” is a metaphor for something much deeper, much more significant, but that is a topic for another service).Wait, there is another but: a big but indeed (no porn intended) – God had planned it all from the very beginning- he was going to get man back to his former “position of power”.

He was going to impregnate a virgin woman and be born as his own son who is actually the same as himself (Yeah I know, it’s pretty confusing, but you should just flow with it, by faith). Then he was gonna sacrifice his son- who is actually himself- to himself by killing him (himself, again) on the cross. And then he was gonna raise himself back to life after three days. Whoa, that was easy- nothing confusing there! Well, the thing is, all man had to do was believe that he actually did those things (Need I say that you gotta believe someone exists before they can actually DO something?) So, yeah, that’s the amazing! plan the super-smart God who made Everest, the Pacific Ocean, the Blue Whale, and Jupiter- just to name a few- had to save man from……from what? From his sin of eating a fruit. Dayum! That fruit must have been something! Whatever it was, I wish I had eaten it first!

Well, I didn’t mean to talk this much, really. I just have one question. It’s not a smartypants-y kind or anything, just a simple, simple, question: Uh, what the hell was he thinking?!

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